Last time I posted, I was in a bad place. I was scared and upset. It was so hard to see her that way.
Things have changed. The day they were going to do the tracheotomy, the respiratory therapist thought that maybe he could try to let her breathe without the tubes. It worked! She still has an oxygen mask but is able to breathe on her own.
Yesterday they moved her to regular after surgery room, she is no longer in ICU. I am just so happy to have her back mostly. She is actually able to sit and talk with us. It really is an amazing feeling to have been so close to the end and now things have totally turned around. She is doing physical therapy and is still really weak. She doesn't really remember anything from the last two weeks in ICU.
They are hoping to get her strong enough to leave the hospital within a week or so. I can not explain how excited I am for her to be back. I don't ever want to be in that place again. I know no one ever wants to be in that position with a parent but I really hope that these were the scary parts and that stage is over. I hope that when it is her time to go, that she goes peacefully in her sleep and that she is very old.I hope that is not to much to ask for.
All the friends and family that have been here, either in person or spirit, thank you. Thank you all for all your words of wisdom that helped me get through this extremely rough time.Thank you for all of your prayers, honestly I am not sure how things would have turned out without the abundance of people praying for her. I do believe that this has been a small miracle in our family. Thank you to everyone who was able to make it to the hospital while she was on the brink, it always seemed to lighten her mood.
There is not enough thank yous to pass around. There are so many people to be thankful for and so many reasons. You all ROCK!!! And GOD is good!!!
I will keep updating and then eventually this blog won't be only about the time my mom almost died. It will go back to being about family adventures which now, thankfully, will have my mom included.
Thanks for reading :)
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Sigh....
It has been a week since I posted.
Last Tuesday I was prepared to give up. I was then turned around with a whole new hope. Surgery was going to be done. She was going to get better because that tumor would be out.
Wednesday I went to see her, as I do everyday. Swarmed with Dr.s, signing papers, discussing precautions and risks. The surgery had been scheduled for the next day. I could not be more excited. Things were finally moving along. Things were going to get better.
Thursday morning about 9:30 am they took my mother into surgery. It only lasted around two hours. There was good news. Her tumor was benign. They were able to remove the whole tumor. All 18lbs of it. Her swelling was going down. Everything looked so good, so hopeful.
Each day that has passed there have been hopeful signs. Bits of improvement. Each day I have walked into her room and been surprised by the way she looks and acts. Everything was getting better.
Now today the clouds have settled in. The pneumonia won't go away. She has developed an antibiotic resistant bacterial infection. Her lungs are not getting stronger.
Today I signed papers to allow the doctors to do a tracheotomy and to place a feeding tube in her abdomen. These are things she never wanted. She seems better in so many ways. I don't understand how we can't move forward. Why can't things stay good for awhile? I just want to be able to sit and talk to her without crying. I hate watching her miserable. She is such a stubborn lady. She doesn't want to be in a bed with tubes coming out of her. I hate this.
When is it enough? When will this hurt be over? Where is the line between help and torture?
I am having a hard night. Are things getting better and I am not realizing? I feel very alone tonight. Prayers are needed. Good thoughts are needed. Let's hope for this tunnel to end soon. Let's hope there is a light at the end of it. Thank all of you for all the prayers you have been sending. I am not sure we would have made it this far.
I will try to update when there is news.
Thanks for reading.
Last Tuesday I was prepared to give up. I was then turned around with a whole new hope. Surgery was going to be done. She was going to get better because that tumor would be out.
Wednesday I went to see her, as I do everyday. Swarmed with Dr.s, signing papers, discussing precautions and risks. The surgery had been scheduled for the next day. I could not be more excited. Things were finally moving along. Things were going to get better.
Thursday morning about 9:30 am they took my mother into surgery. It only lasted around two hours. There was good news. Her tumor was benign. They were able to remove the whole tumor. All 18lbs of it. Her swelling was going down. Everything looked so good, so hopeful.
Each day that has passed there have been hopeful signs. Bits of improvement. Each day I have walked into her room and been surprised by the way she looks and acts. Everything was getting better.
Now today the clouds have settled in. The pneumonia won't go away. She has developed an antibiotic resistant bacterial infection. Her lungs are not getting stronger.
Today I signed papers to allow the doctors to do a tracheotomy and to place a feeding tube in her abdomen. These are things she never wanted. She seems better in so many ways. I don't understand how we can't move forward. Why can't things stay good for awhile? I just want to be able to sit and talk to her without crying. I hate watching her miserable. She is such a stubborn lady. She doesn't want to be in a bed with tubes coming out of her. I hate this.
When is it enough? When will this hurt be over? Where is the line between help and torture?
I am having a hard night. Are things getting better and I am not realizing? I feel very alone tonight. Prayers are needed. Good thoughts are needed. Let's hope for this tunnel to end soon. Let's hope there is a light at the end of it. Thank all of you for all the prayers you have been sending. I am not sure we would have made it this far.
I will try to update when there is news.
Thanks for reading.
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