I am not good at updating....

It is May 16th. No surgery has been done. The 8th had been moved to the 15th which has now been moved to the 22nd. But, the 22nd is for sure! Yay!


    Things have been tough these last few weeks. My mother has been steadily getting worse. She is currently admitted into the hospital because of the unbearable pain and her legs have swelled so badly it is hard for her to walk or move them. It is hard to watch her like this. I didn't think this was something that my brothers and I would have to see so young. The person I feel the deepest sorrow for is my grandmother. She has been by my moms side this whole time. She has done everything for her. I see the pain in her eyes every time I am with her. No parent should have to see their child suffer the way my mother is.


    Everyday my mom and I do this thing where before I leave or hang up the phone we say the number of days left till her surgery. Six days. It is getting harder to say each day. Knowing it is so close but it may not be close enough. One thought that keeps crossing my mind is, what if after her surgery it is still to late. This is an all to real possibility. I am trying to take it one day at a time but it is hard for me to do. I am a planner. I am a doer. But there is nothing I can plan. There is nothing I can do. I feel so lost some days. If it was not for my wonderful husband and beautiful children, I am not sure the state I would be in.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this. I will try to be better with the updates.
      Six Days.
          Six Days
              Six Days.